an always on mind
a large unfortunate caveat of having adhd and a brain that runs on multiple units of horsepower is that im always thinking about something, moment to moment.
this, in late, has unfortunately gotten worse as the executive functioning has interrupted my routine and made it hard to take care of myself.
I'd like to think I've been better at emptying it, but it always seems like there's something new that replaces it.
every now and again I'll think about this blog, and as you may have seen, I've been quietly adding to it in the background.
I always wanna write down posts but usually when I have them, I'm either low spoons, I'm doing something else that means I can't sit down and focus on a blog post, or I get distracted while typing. this has lead to a lot of drafts that get routinely deleted after a few months as I no longer see them as relevant anymore, or I no longer wish to talk about the topic.
I say all of this to say, this is mostly a ramble-post with not much substance, but at the same time an attempt to organize my thoughts and feelings about things so abstract I can't quite place what to describe it yet. sometimes sorting out my brain is jumping through hoops with 10 words to say one. and suffice to say, that can get really annoying for all parties involved.
all that's said and done though, it makes me wanna take another online break. primarily because I believe that it doesn't help my brain get better. unfortunately though, my brain can never truly stay disconnected for long since I'm too curious for my own good 🤣
regardless though, I have a lot to say and a lot to share, I just... need some time to untangle the web that is my brain 🧐 I hope you'll be patient with me as I do so.